I've really been struggling with this blog post. I started it a couple weeks ago, after reading an article featuring a photographer showcasing 4th trimester bodies, and how society's expectation for how a woman's body should look after giving birth. It's quite ridiculous, yet very real. My first reaction was "How awesome, I'm so glad someone is doing this, it's so important". Then after thinking on it for a while my reaction was "This sucks that so many women feel this way about their post pregnancy body". I had a very clear message in mind in this post - Celebrate that mama body no matter what the size, shape and perhaps some battle scars post pregnancy. But I struggled as I heard many of you reading this post thinking "Really? Easy for her to say. She's back pre-pregnancy weight and just completed a Half Ironman - whoopdeedo and good for her"
It's true - I am back to pre-pregnancy weight and I did complete a Half Ironman a couple months ago. (Full disclosure: I have fallen off the work-out wagon since my race. But now that my babe is sleeping through the night I have rekindled my love with waking to the sound of his voice, so I sleep in instead of getting up to work out.) I often tell people that I'm fortunate in what I love to do in my free time is to work out. I love triathlons. LOVE them. Love the training, Love the competition, and trying to figure out how early I can be ready for an Ironman if we choose to have another baby. My second love is helping others start or get better at doing triathlons. Especially mamas who have very limited time and think there is no way they have time to prepare for a triathlon. A wonderful by-product of my passions is being in pretty good physical shape most of the year. But my body will never be the same as it was before I was pregnant. And I'm not sure I want it to be. This year, I posted some of my fastest times, in my mama body.
People have many passions. You may devote those extra 30-60 minutes a day to reading, TV, movies, knitting, resting. Every one of those choices is perfect for whoever you are. If you don't know what that passion is for you - maybe try a few different things out in the weeks to come. Really try to ensure yourself some mama time every day. Believe me - around here - especially in the fall - that is HARD to come by for me. But you gotta try to find it. And let your 'roomate(s)' know what and when that is, so you have their support; whether that means taking care of the kids, clearing the house for quiet time, preparing dinner. Honest communication is key to success. (in all things really right?)
Now, truth be told (and for those of you who see me on a regular basis, know how very true this is), I don't put a very high value on the way I look, with or without clothes. It's not that I don't value myself - It's just not that important to me to look a certain way - mainly because I'm not very confident in my ability to look 'put together', so a t-shirt and jeans is a safe, easy and comfortable option for me most of the time. Which is why when my husband and I went out for date night and I wore a short dress with boots and accessories (I didn't have many to choose from) - which a best friend and her daughters had to come over one night and help me pick out because I would have totally worn jeans and a black sweater - his jaw hit the floor.
I don't feel comfortable in a bikini, never really have. But not in the traditional sense - mainly, I just don't see it as functional. But I have to admit, I do feel a bit more comfortable now that I'm a mama because I feel like it's awesome that my body had a baby!!! So, who cares what you think it looks like - I think it's pretty dang amazing. When it comes to race day, my tri gear, although skin tight and often not very flattering, I could give two hoots, because it's what I'm about to do in that tri gear that fuels my fire. (another full disclosure: I did ask DH if I looked acceptable in my tri gear before my first race. Heck, I'm doing a triathlon - I look great!!)
It became apparent to me the other day when T was sitting on my lap after nursing, my shirt was pulled up and he started grabbing at my tummy. I had been feeling pretty good about my mama body until I saw his hands kneading my soft belly. It made me feel kinda icky about not working out more, not being firmer - then I realized that my son...MY SON.... who I gave birth to...GAVE BIRTH TO....is kneading my soft belly - I LOVE IT.
So here's the point...and I really do have one here...... you are a MAMA...you put another humans (maybe multiple other humans) needs ahead of yours every minute of every hour of every day. You scarf down quick snacks in between making and serving/feeding others full mealtimes with love. You get up early and stay up late doing laundry, cleaning the house, feeding the dogs, planning meals, planning fun activities. You are a MAMA.
It doesn't matter if you had a home or hospital birth, vaginal or cesarean, adopted your babe(s), gained 100 lbs during your pregnancy, are back at your pre pregnancy weight, barely have time to get in 10 minutes of yoga each week, are so tired you can't even see the bags under your eyes and accidentally put a box of cereal in the fridge (then didn't think it was weird when you went to get it out of the fridge to have some...), have nursing tatas that are nearing your belly button, not quite sure where that belly piercing used to go, have a dark line down your tummy that just doesn't seem to want to go away, have new marks on your body from stretching over a bowling ball, what matters is that you are AMAZING. If you were fortunate enough to be pregnant - YOU GREW ANOTHER HUMAN BEING WITH YOUR OWN BODY- your lovely mama body, and you are fantastically amazing!!! If you were fortunate enough to be able to adopt your own child - HOLY COW, YOU GAVE YOUR CHILD A MAMA AND FAMILY FOREVER - your lovely mama body, and you are fantastically amazing!!
Next time you stand in front of the mirror before you shower/bathe, look at that fantastically amazing mama body. Not the value we are told to see by society. But that amazing mama body that gives more love every day then you ever knew you had. That amazing mama body that carries your children in and out of the car, the high chair, around the store, crawls around on the floor playing cars and dolls, makes silly sounds, has interesting conversations, gets tugged on, pulled on, kneaded, comforts tears, gives unlimited hugs, kisses and squeezes.
Look at that mama body up and down and up again.
Be proud.
You are loved.
